credits

coagulates:

the worst part about ugly dudes is everyone defends them like ‘he’s really funny though’ or something but if a chick is ugly to someone they just straight up dirt like they might as well not even have a personality 

i-eat-men-like-air:

john oliver is really not fucking around 

how to give a great blowjob

pornstarwars:

gently blow on the penis but do not blow too hard else he will get scared and retreat back inside

nebulasnovasandnightsky:

look if you unironically say ‘money can’t buy happiness’ then either you’ve never faced a real financial struggle or you’ve achieved enlightenment, because goddamn does financial security feel an awful lot like happiness when it’s something you’re not used to

peenslayer:

drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious and, most importantly, drunk. 

When you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You didn’t place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible.

Jamie Raskin - who is now a senator in Maryland and served as floor manager of the recently passed bill allowing same sex marriage.  

OH SNAP, SON.

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(via razzledazzy)

hatfullofsky:

You think you’re going to be hip and teen forever and then suddenly you find yourself drinking red wine and playing board games and lusting after men with beards 

jencorpsichord:

young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care

officialwhitegirls:

primary source of income: when my mom gives me money to buy something and doesn’t ask for the change back